


I'm Just a Girl

by nightmare_nostalgia



Category: My Babysitter's A Vampire
Genre: FTM, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, because I felt extra transgender today, idk what this is, poem type thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:40:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28296174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightmare_nostalgia/pseuds/nightmare_nostalgia
Summary: In which Ethan Morgan is just a girl...Deals with heavy gender dysphoria, misgendering, deadnaming, transphobia and other things like that.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 11





	I'm Just a Girl

**Author's Note:**

> Idk I got bored and I'm questioning my gender again so here we are.

Ethan Morgan is just a girl.

And Ethan Morgan isn't Ethan Morgan. He's Emma Morgan.

And Emma Morgan isn't a 'he', she's a 'she'.

And Emma Morgan is just in her head whenever she wants to be referred to as a 'he' or as Ethan or as a boy.

"She's just a tomboy" her parents would say.

"I hate it when my sister acts like a boy. I wanna do girly stuff with her" her sister, Jane, would say.

And in those moments, Emma would live in her imagination where she _was_ a 'he' and she _was_ Ethan and she _was_ a boy.

Where Ethan could walk around with a flat chest and a taller frame and not be accused of being something he's not.

Where Ethan could just be one of the boys and understand literally anything his friend, Benny, refers to when he rants at sleepovers after videogames.

Where Ethan can go into the boy's bathroom at school and no one give weird stares.

Where Ethan Morgan is Ethan Morgan.

But Ethan Morgan doesn't exist.

Ethan Morgan is just a figment of Emma Morgan's imagination.

Just a character.

And no matter how bad Emma wants to be Ethan, she can't.

It's wrong.

Because everyone around Emma says that it's wrong to 'change your gender'.

So Emma won't change her gender.

It's wrong.

She's never disappointed her parents and she's not gonna start now.

That is...until one night she sneaks into her bathroom and sloppily cuts her hair with a pair of scissors.

At the time, she felt alive.

She felt free.

She felt like the person she wanted to be.

She felt like Ethan.

But when she woke up, she felt like a disappointment for the first time.

And although it was a shitty feeling,

she felt empowered.

And for the first time, for as long as she can remember,

she liked the way she looked,

the way she felt,

the way she felt

like

Ethan.

But she's never gonna be Ethan Morgan.

Because Ethan Morgan is just a girl.

And Ethan Morgan isn't Ethan Morgan. He's Emma Morgan.

And Emma Morgan isn't a 'he', she's a 'she'

And Emma Morgan is never gonna be Ethan Morgan.

And that hurts like hell.

But it's fine, she guesses.

Although, Emma really bad at guessing.

**Author's Note:**

> Take care of yourself, at least for me. You are valid and loved. See ya next time :)


End file.
